It's completely impossible to find a girl that won't hurt me. So I'll instead go for the girl who will make the pain worthwhile

Sunday, July 10, 2011

7/10/2011 02:59:00 AM

Sometimes, I just don't understand. I don't understand how she can work against her heart, her feelings. Unless she's lying to me? Otherwise I don't really know why.

She claims she still loves me, she said my answer was correct.. This is what I wrote if I didn't forget.

" Boy, I still love you, continue to hang on for the time being alright? Not now, I got lots of commitments, I got no time for you. But if u hang on, I'll definitely come back to you. Just that it's not now alright? "

If she claims this is correct, why treat me with such cruelty so much so that I feel so painful everyday? I just don't understand. I can see she still cares for me. But why is she ingoring me until the extent that sometimes I even got to BEG her just to meet her for 5 pathetic minutes? Why Why Why?!

Idk wads her relationship with that daniel guy. But there's something I'm sure of, which is they're chatting happily almost every night. She said she's busy with her projects, she watching videos. But why can she chat with him, and not even replying me a single message? Nevertheless, I still trust her. I hope she can draw the line clearly.. So much so that if all these guys are wooing her, they'll just be clear they'll only be friends to her.

But there's definitely something I can't deny, I'm getting tired, tired of all the princess attitudes. I don't mind her being like this, but it's just that.... It's getting too much. Too much so that it hurts so much, that I sob every night, roll lots of tears, for something that's ingoring me, not even a single word of concern. Yes, she have her own set of problems, but why can't she just handle things maturely sometimes? Keeping me hanging in e air, feeling all the pain..

Commitments? school? projects? homework? cca? No time for me? Stress over her own family issues?

Why can't she look things at another way? If I come into her life, can I be part of removing the stress, helping her with her allowances, with her family issues, lightening all the stress and burden she had, showering her with love. Rather than thinking I'm actually nothing but a piece of shit and trouble to her? Why can't she change a little of her thinking?
Humans always tend to think on the bad side, I guess there's nothing I can do.

If it's really my fault from the start, Seriously, u've punished me enough. U've tortured me enough. It's time for you to stop if u still love me, u're hurting me too much. At least give me some peace and happiness, some assurance. That's all I need.

Because, I'm seriously... tired.

taikib0i

Cool, I'm 21yrs old.
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