It's completely impossible to find a girl that won't hurt me. So I'll instead go for the girl who will make the pain worthwhile

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

9/29/2009 03:50:00 PM

Can't believe I told myself that I want to be on MC today. Yesterday was the worst day ever. I had such a serious bad headache till e extent when I turn my head, it hurts so much and my vision got blur. Had to do stupid packings in army and I really hated it to the core. But thanks to God on my verge of packing, I found a new pack of cigarettes! YAY! So happily, I went to smoke. And and, the feeling of smoking free cigarette is damn shiok! HAHA!

Before the packing starts, we had to brisk walk the whole fcuking camp and after that in for a swim. Zz, then the packing and after the fabulous lunch, I went to sleep till 5pm. When I woke up, the headache got worse. Still got to fall in and left after that.

Had to make my way all the way to Eunos cause little princess needs her file back. And her shirt yesterday was damn cool! LOL. look like a small kid, but head was too pain to even laugh. Placed e files in my locker, and I headed off to cck to meet my agent. Err so yesterday go office, is just to pass her her files? omg, I just realised that. =x But it's my fault also, coz I forgot to return the other day. =/

My agent can't meet me in e end, wanted to see doctor cause head was very pain, but weiyi called me so I chose to go out. Watched movie with him and Joyce, then he drove like 150km/hr home. zzz, then went to joyce's house awhile then to kim san leng to slack till 2-3am before we went home.

Sorry for the summon u got from fatimah! LOL.

PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS> It's damn touching..

All I need, is a little concern...

taikib0i

9/26/2009 09:03:00 PM

Was damn tired last night. So I didn't blog, after camp was supposedly to head down to office for night training, but the trip from boon lay to eunos makes me super negative. Was too tired cause the previous night, only slept for 2 hours. Played soccer in the morning, followed by carrying bazukas! LOL. Then was tired so I went to sleep and when I woke up, it was 4 plus and was time to book out. HAHA.

Instead of going down to eunos, went out with James and Weiyi, cause hadn't seen them for like almost 5 days. Then jiuyuan came also. Went drinking and singing, but didn't drink at all in e end, cause I was too tired and then I'm afraid I'll be drunk like james e other night? lol. And keep drinking so much makes me feel like a fuked up and screwed up guy. lol, so I quitted alcohol for that night.

Weiyi drove me home after that. Speedo driver. His meter never falls below 140km/hr. James says he's a reckless driver, and he say, it's skilful leh, not reckless. Haha..

Went to office by 12pm, but was late around 15 minutes. And was supposed to meet 5 of my agents in e afternoon, for liu's grouping, but in e end, 4 didn't want to come becoz they overslept. Wtf? Did my rec after that followed by going for an appt at cck. Again, when I presented water, I was challenged by another brand of hydrogen water. And in my heart, I was telling myself, this customer just wants to waste my time. Been to like 500 appts alrd, I've been counting since 2yrs. haha, and there's not a time our water lost to the properties and benefits of others. I just don't know why. =/

Oh, had been smsing with amanda the whole day yesterday. And she said things to me which I felt it's quite true, and really made me brought back those unwanted feelings I had in the past.

She told me she felt guys in VE, are much more caring, mature and understanding towards people compared to the guys outside. Then I replied her, there's 2 reasons, either because they fight and work too much, and are too despo to find for girls, that's why they acted like so nice, to woo girls, or the 2nd reason is because.. they're just nice naturally. LOL!

She then asked me about how I feel about girls in VE, then hmm, I won't say what I mentioned to her, but she like.. told me how good girls are..

Hmm, she said girls nowadays looks for guys who are confident of themselves. And she feels a girl should be understanding. Most imptly not because he did well in his career, but never gives up to try when he fails. Ultimately she's always there to support him when he's down, and at the end of the day if he doesn't do well, she'll love him for who he is, because he had done his best for her and himself. Sweet right? If all girls had the same mindset, that'll be good. LOL.

We still talked about alot of stuff but I got stm, can't remember and my stupid NS phone can't save inbox. aiyo.. =/

But I believe if the guy keep doing and don't do well, and the girl accepts, he'll definitely feel lousy and kill himself. LOL, not say being ego, but well, guys need to have achievements in life. That's their dream, and same goes for me. I have my own vison, my dreams to fulfil. And giving up is definitely not an option in my notebook. =)

But I won't deny to manage my life, NS, and VE is tiring me out. Really is tired those kind. I have to wake up at 5am, stone till 5pm, and travel all the way to east side, then travel back to west side, and I don't even get 5hours of sleep each day. I don't know if this feeling is called stressed, but i'll overcome it, for the next upcoming 2 years. I'm strong right? LOL. =DDD
( can't believe I can fall asleep at 9pm, when I usually sleep at 5-6am. )

taikib0ii

taikib0i

9/22/2009 10:25:00 PM

Woke up at 1 plus, went to office and left around 7pm after finishing my stuff. Life's good to the max. But e sad thing is, the boring routine is gonna start tmr at 5am.

Waking up soo bloody early, to go to camp. And I can guess exactly what I'm going to do tmr, 7am-9am, sleep. 9am to 12pm, Internet and facebook. =DDD 12pm-1pm, eat. 1pm-3pm slack and smoke. 3pm-3.30pm, bathe. 4pm- GO HOME!! LOL.

After finishing the ippt, life in NS seems to be soo slack, and fuk, I feel it's just wasting of my time in there for 2 years. After I'm done with what I have to do, I'll down my pes to F, and that's being exempted from army. Can stop serving. HAHA.

And james told me a way to take a 22days MC, omg. I'm so gonna use it wisely. Cause it can only be used once, to keng chicken pox. But it's gonna be a little bit painful, which I don't mind. haha.

Something that's on my mind lately, I've been waiting for each day to pass slowly, and I can't wait for that day to come, which is coming sooo soon.
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TAA DAA !

OCT 11th!! =DDD

Life is like a cigarette, you smoke till the end.

taikib0ii

taikib0i

9/22/2009 12:50:00 AM

Chalet photo! lol. nice candy floss..

Had k-boxing on sunday 20th sep with ms liu, hui miao, amanda, liyun and e rest, had lots of fun, sang till like 6am.. To like pre-celebrate Jiuyuan's birthday which is on the 21st sep. HAHA and and, huimiao and amanda sings damn nice too. hahaha!

21st sep, We went to mind's cafe. Coz the birthday boy wants to go there. We ate and play boardgames over there, Hell they had like sooo many games, We had lots of fun, esp when we play the dog and bone. Everybody started to snatch the bone luh! LOL!

Went drinking yesterday too, and look at what happened to james. LOL

Pussy boy! reach home alrd, dont even want to go into his own house, half of his body in e house, e other half outside. HAHA.

Went to office to settle stuff for the team today, then headed to city hall to meet Jiuyuan and friends. Went to watch movie, the cartoon called 9. Not too bad, interesting. HAHA

Was still thinking of what Mr kit shared to me recently. Err.. he gave an example of like, a bf gf in a r/s.

He said let's say there's this girl, she found boyfriend A, so she liked him, and be together with him. But at e end of the day, she broke up with him, hurting him, coz she felt he was like too good boy, being together with him there's no fun. She wants excitement so she broke off with him and look for another one.

When she found boyfriend B, she loved him. And she be together with him, for a period of time later, she broke up with him, though he's nice, but she claimed he's too vulglar, doesn't care much about her, so she broke up with him, hurting him, and went on to look for another guy.

When she found boyfriend C, she loved him, she got together with him, but after a period of time, she broke up with him again. And she said he was too obedient, like a mummy's boy. Whatever his mum said, he'll follow and she doesn't like it, and she left him, hurting the 3rd guy.

Mr kit's moral of this story is, actually the problem doesn't lie with the guys. Breaking up with boyfriend A, B and C, is because she doesn't want to face and handle things, and she prefer to run away from problems and lead her life instead of solving it. In the end, she found no happiness. And she never ever will. Cause the problem doesn't lie with the guys, it lies within herself. Cause by running away, she didn't learn how to solve it, so the same problem will just keep coming back, and back. Isn't it? Even if she carries on to look for boyfriend D, E or F, the same problem will keep coming back again and again. And I felt it's true. Isn't what couples are facing this in relationships? And led to quarrels and break-ups. And I realised when someone faces a problem, they don't blame themselves, they like to say it's not me, it's him/her. Pushing the blame I guess? Even for myself, I think I'm like that too, aww. will change. =/
(And I feel, having another friend, it's definitely better than having another enemy right?) Correct me if I'm wrong. =)

And I quote myself a moral too, at the end of the day, no one is perfect. But when a person is willing to change for the better, he will still, not be perfect, but flaws will be reduced to the minimum, which I felt he's definitely perfect, for the girl that will be willing to love him.

Pretty isn't it huh?

I folded it myself. Using clip paper. Took a damn long time to learn it for her I guess..

<3

I should deserve more than what I deserve.

taikib0ii

taikib0i

9/19/2009 03:02:00 AM

4 hours of sleep really is killing me.. I even sleep halfway while working out at the damn gym in Jurong camp. zz.

I'll blog tmr, and this song brings out my feelings again. =/

taikib0i

9/16/2009 09:42:00 PM

Well, I'm gonna squeeze everything into one post starting from the day we went to chalet.

Went to James house to help him brought stuff over, coz his parents were going for the chalet as well. And becoz u know parents are more kiasu, they want to bring alot of things. like sleeping bags, even a oil frying machine. LOL.

Okay when we got there, it's alrd around 5plus, so we started bbqing and on the first day, there wasn't alot of people so we ate like hell. First time bbq I felt so full. Haha, after that we went to walk walk.. LOL

2nd day's more interesting, we went to wild wild wet, James, Weiyi, Jiuyuan and I. I swear it's the last time I gonna take that 80 degree slide, I wanted to back out so much? LOL. but the float was like going down alrd. Omg, I juz realised my fear of heights is getting greater and greater. HAHA! After we bathed, Jason ong came. And we played arcade, and then there was this candy floss machine near the jackpot area. It says $1.50 per stick. I went to the uncle and say, Uncle I want a 5 dollar one, in one stick, he said he couldn't make it, coz it's too big, in the end, he made us a 3 dollar one. So bloody big! lol, bluetooth has a lil prob so I'm unable to upload the photo here. LOL, everybody see our candy floss they shock! HAHA! After that we went to watch Gamers, I fell asleep halfway, it's a boring show. =/

Same thing, we bbqed again and we had like 12 bottles of beer and 2 big bottles of alcohol. Didn't drink much the other day, only that fucking ivan. cb. And and, James sister's bf, is actually my good bro when I was in Dynamic Asia. OMG, such a small world. LOL..

After bbq, we felt bored. So we went to E!hub and guess what? we took neoprints! LOL. all james fault, he immediate press select, otherwise we had nicer photos to print out. aww! And we spent like 100 dollars on arcade. hahaha!

Around 2-3am, it was getting bored. We went to cheers and YAY! we bought a golf set and started playing. LOL, if anybody saw that, they will think we're crazy. Jason ong hit so hard, he missed the ball, and the stick broke. Everyone laugh like hell. He put the stick in front of his face, and say fuck! LOL. damn funny! then we started throwing the balls and using the stick and whack each other, coz there were 3 sticks. Didn't even play the golf at all, and the golf set quite ex, in e end, we threw it away! hahaha!

3rd day, it was time to go home, so I went to jiuyuan's dad shop coz it was his opening. The buffet is damn good. 20 over dishes. hahaha! After that headed to kbox, then headed home to sleep, coz next day was my NS.

Went back to office after that, was soo tired, soo fustrated, and then she asked me for help. I was damn reluctant, but then, though how unhappy I was, doesn't matter, as long as she's happy. And I don't know why I'm doing this. =x

1st day of NS, nth to do.. stone and slacked. 2nd day, i kena fucked for not wearing socks. LOL, played pool, watch television and I went home at 12pm. LOL. Today, NS is hell. I got fucked at least 20 times today. And I realised everybody in NS, keep saying FUck. LOL!

I'm in the armssquad. And because of the south east asia shooting competition, spore damn kiasu, want to hide all the guns don't allow other people from other country to see. And guess what? I had to oil over 300+ rifles, record their serial no, store them in a coffin like box, and tie it up. WTf, most of the job is done under the hot sun. And their NS definition of carrying heavy load, is FREAKING HEAVY. Whole palms blue black. Zz, and there's a total of 17 coffins stuffed with guns. LOL.

Anyway, after tmr, I have off from friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. 6 days off? LOL. I don't know, just freaking tired now. Need to sleep. =/

Will share till here, and will upload the photos during my off periods. Goodbye.

And girl, yes I love you. mwah! <3

taikib0i

9/13/2009 09:42:00 PM

havent been sleeping well for the past 4 days, total 7 hrs of sleep for 4 days, im dying. and guess what? i have to go play soccer with my friends now. zz, got lots of stuff i wanna say up here that has happened for the past 3 days. LOL OMG!. i think i'll blog tmr, coz i have to wake up early to report to camp. Fcuking shit ns. zz

stay tuned!

taikib0i

9/09/2009 01:39:00 AM

Okay, maybe I should let the people knows why I'm blogging, bloody hell not because I'm emo. LOL, I'm just trying to improve my english and spelling. Wtf so many words I can't spell properly, damn paiseh. =/

Damn bad insomnia this few days, I keep waking up in the middle of the night drinking milo and eating biscuits. How I wished somebody could hug me to sleep. =/

Woke up damn late today again, around 12.30pm, cause she called me, and the worst thing is I was dreaming of her luh, she was trying to tell me something, and the next thing I hear someone like her voice. LOL. My dream somehow appeared so real, and I couldn't believe at first she called, so I asked in the end, who are you? LOL. And the worst thing is, I forgot what she told me in my dream. Zz..

Went to office, did a first day training. I love doing training nowadays, building up onto better communication skills and PR skills as well. LOL..
Went to orchard after that cause they wanted to make shirts. Ate soup spoon just now and the clam chowder soup is 100 times better than the one in long john silver's I swear. LOL, and it's like such a big bowl luh, e soup can help me to fill my stomach alrd, and till now, I'm still not feeling hungry.

Went to gai gai with her after that, and it's the first time when I walk, I didn't complain I'm tired. Normally girls who know me well enough, I walk less than 10min, I kbkp tired alrd. I just realised it now only. lol. Probably because of a different companion I guess? Haha, feel sooo happy.

Took bus home with daniel and when we alighted, we talked for almost 2 hours before he headed home. I keng gai him alot of stuff and when I talked to him, he suddenly slapped his own face. LOL, I was shocked. And he said I need to wake up my idea. LOL.
After a long talk, he bus home himself and I walked home. =)

Dedication I made,

我知道在这时候，你肯定没有听，可是我想让大家知道，今天的我，还爱着你。
当你塌进我心目中的时候，已经没有别的女人，可以再容纳我的心里了。
********，我爱你。 =）

taikib0i

9/08/2009 12:35:00 AM

Yesterday night was horrible, I slept around 10pm, was damn tired. But I woke up at 3.30am, and I couldn't like sleep back? And I watch some videos, eat some biscuits with milo, and guess what? 8am then I fell back asleep, and I was like absent for today's morning meeting? lol. Body clock damn screwed up. =/

Went to cck to meet up with my agents then headed down to eat with CHNG JIU YUAN, who ps me and went home when I did his training for his guys. =.=

Went for the nutrition talk later on at 7pm to 10pm and it was so damn god boring but enriching. Was busy translating to the Malay comrades that are beside me and I didn't have time to copy down my own notes. Urgh, damn hong kia! LOL!
(hong kia is hokkien for malay. =D)

While I walked home, I made a dedication to her on radio, didn't know if she'd listen to the radio, but when I heard it, I keep smiling. And they read out my hp no, the 4 digits at the back. omg. Hope VE people didn't hear. HAHA

It's the first time I made a dedication for a girl, but I know chances of her hearing is 0%, and she won't know what I said, but yeah, those are the words that are longed in my heart that I wanna say to her. =)

I thought this kind of things, a lot of people will send, so chances of them reading out mine is little, but mine was the 2nd one lah! LOL. And that kept me smiling till now, and all I hope is.. a little appreciation from her. =)

I love you..

taikib0i

9/06/2009 09:08:00 PM

Yesterday was indeed a good celebration. Most expensive birthday party I ever went before? haha..

Cost around $4000. LOL, lucky I'm not the one paying. =D

Drank total of 3 bottles of martell, 2 bottles of chivas, 2 jars of beer, and one dua pao which is like 3 litres of alcohol. And there were like 8 people there only. So each individual drank like 1 litre. All of us had serious headache, but non were drunk, that's the funniest part. haha.

We still headed to eat supper before we went home. LOL.

Lots of people woke me up today, from 1.30pm I started receiving lots of sms and phonecalls. -.-

Went for appointment just now at Sembawang, and it was at Jalan Selang, omg. The prospect was rich, stayed in bungalow. It was supposed to start at 4.30pm, in the end, started around 6.15pm, zzz. Waited DAMN long. They were so shuang kuai, didn't even asked the price, but they need more info. zz, otherwise could have sold 4 calstar on e spot. Aiya need follow up, sian. Now I know why life is full of obstacles and nothing comes easy. =/

在生你的爱人，死为你的天使。

taikib0i

9/05/2009 01:54:00 AM

Looking back at the past years or even months photos, I definitely grew more mature, or u can say older. -.-

I keep having the same old dream since 5 months ago, and everyday when I woke up, it seem so true. I just hope it could be true. Cause if my dream come true, I'll have whatever I want. Yeah.. And not only that, even when I'm on bus or travelling or waiting, this weird feeling always come to me to tell me who I am. Omg. =/

I'm just done with the massive cooking of noodles, nuggets, hotdogs, fish and vegetables. I'm hungry luh.. And she called me a pig. U kuku monkey!! =D

Hadn't been eating much today cause I woke up late and had to rush down to conduct training. Did 4 hours of massive training and that definitely led me to a serious sore throat. Had only my first meal at 6.30pm, had pig organs soup? WOO! and I was damn full but after night meeting till 1am, I became damn hungry but ah liu was tired so we went home and I made some stuff for myself to eat. yeah..

omg i found mango pudding with natadecoco. omg my favourite.. HAHA! thanks mummy I guess? lol..

Tmr's gonna be a big day for us brothers. Cause it's Jason Ong's bdae celebration and he gonna open a bottle of tua pao. $1600. -.-..
They say who nvr gets drunk, cannot go home. LOL, so I guess tmr I'll be dead drunk. =/

Life's short, treasure the ones you love, before they're gone..

taikib0i

9/03/2009 01:35:00 AM

11 more days before I get enlisted, aww.. Will definitely miss waking up in the afternoon. LOL. Lots of things I felt I haven't completed and yet I have to go in soon. Somehow I suddenly feel a shortage of time. Not exactly about work I guess? More onto my personal life..

Went to office to do training today, and finally by the end of this week, I'll have 10 new agents, can start to fight for wadever quota or incentive I want, but fcuk, NS. zz.
No choice, this 2 yrs, cfm have to give the govt. Zz.

Went to boss's house later on at caribbean. Took some photos which I don't think I'll be hardworking enough to upload here. Haha, but definitely, it'll appear on facebook! =D

Went to loyang later on to pray, after that headed to bukit timah for supper. And after we ate finish, Jeremy walked away to talk on the phone. Left me and ah liu at the table we talked about lots of stuff. Like r/s? And I didn't know she got 11 ex boyfriends. Zz, and she cushion herself say every guy must try mah, then u'll know which one suits u best. never try never know. LOL. She tell me daring abit, try all sorts of girls, then I was like.. I alrd have 4 ex gfs? Which alrd makes me feel like a flirt, but all lasted for yrs except for one. Bah who cares? but she say 4 only.. I got 11! LOL.

I told her try out also not like that, maybe can be friends first what, see how its goes, whether can clique and stuff and she said not true. Cause sometimes being in a friendship and relationship is totally different. That's when you'll know whether this guy is suitable for you. Which I felt was quite true as well. Haha, cause only in a relationship, you'll get to experience the fun side of the other person, as well as probably know this person even much more better and stuff. =) ahh, love is so beautiful, only when you know how to enjoy it I guess? =))

Hmm though so many things happen today, I realised one thing. Wadever I do, I couldn't concentrate. Even when I'm at loyang praying. I'm just keep thinking of her, When I open my eyes in the morning it's her, when I reached home, it's her. 24/7 thinking of her. Zz, I'm pretty lovesick I guess. aww.. First time I'm so not focus. And I guess first time in my life too, that I'm willing to do so much as long as it's within my means, just for a girl.

FCUK, I REALLY LOVE HER ALOT. OH MY GOD!! =/

and, i feel sometimes horoscope really represents what's in my mind..

Your intensity is working against you today, JASON, and you may find some challenges in matters of the heart. Whether you are single or attached, you are not going to have ease when it comes to settling differences or coming to agreements. You may even have difficulty expressing your true feelings today, which is very unlike you. You are best to keep things light and breezy during this time frame, or even retreat into solitude for the day. Spending some alone time will give you clarity towards your future romantic visions, and will ensure you come out of this period feeling more connected to the people you truly care about.

我是真的，真的真的很爱你。

taikib0i

9/02/2009 01:48:00 AM

Almost died when I walked home just now, leg muscles aching damn bad and I even have difficulty walking fast, let alone to climb stairs, and the overhead bridge almost took away my life.. Took like 5 mins, then I reached the other side. zz

Thanks to the midnight session of basketball yesterday night from 11pm to 4am. Well, it was worth it, cause I scored a lot of times, though it's been long since I stepped into the court. HAHAHA.

Woke up like 3pm today? Went prawning after that at East Coast Park. Omg the prawns there are like fcuk? They don't refill and it's like so damn difficult to catch. I'm going to Bishan one next time alrd. 3hrs, I caught like 20+ the other time. And over here, only 9-10? Zz.

The fun part was definitely about the eating part. The prawns is damn fresh, cause just caught one, yah obvious. -.- Photos are with zach, when he upload on facebook, I'll upload them here. =)
The only part I enjoyed most was peeling for her. =D
I was damn hungry but it doesn't matter, cause I haven't eaten a single thing since last night exercising activity. =/ But most imptly is, she don't get hungry ya? =)

爱很痛苦。
我希望被爱，因为被爱很幸福，很快乐。
要全心全力爱一个人，而她不爱你的感觉，非常难过，非常痛苦。

taikib0i