It's completely impossible to find a girl that won't hurt me. So I'll instead go for the girl who will make the pain worthwhile

Monday, July 18, 2011

7/18/2011 12:25:00 AM

Sounds meaningful..

Life's been good since I came out. 5 days was a hell inside. But nevertheless, I've finally managed to sort out everything. Since she wants it that way, fine. I'm tired. Don't want to even be friends? It's okay. I got tons myself. I'll move on. (:

taikib0i

7/18/2011 12:21:00 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoAP6fHtpg0&playnext=1&list=PL81DE1B5CA311F654

taikib0i

7/11/2011 02:52:00 PM

idk if she'll be angry for hiding this from her, but I guess she won't be, as she already state clearly on her point of view. But this time, haha, i'm really gonna be gone for good. How long, I'm not sure.. But I guess it wouldn't be long if I come out..
Probably a few weeks, few months, but I hope it's just a few days! ahahaha!!

It's hard just to give up like this, but I realised I got no choices as well. If I don't, she'll continue to ingore me. And I guess, I've really done enough.
Love is not something we can just give up like this, yes in the mind, but not from the heart. Makes sense? If u love someone, he'll always be the person u think of somehow or rather. hahaha, but I hope when she's alone, she'll really take care of herself.
Guys out there, everyone wears a mask, I hope she'll be smart enough, to listen to me, keep to the promises she made to me, and perhaps when she's feeling all better, I want to stand a chance to be one of e candidates to woo her too. And I know, I can do it. hahaha.. But for now, I guess we'll just be friends..

Getting charged, I guess is something not I wanted. I did nothing wrong in fact, was being sabotaged in my armoury and as an IC, i need to take responsiblity. wtf? just when I was about to complete my NS. zzz. There's nth much I can do. I just want to see her happy for now, keep to her promises she made, and live on.

Be it guys that woo her, I hope she can really draw the line and tell them off, sorry im unavailable! hahaha, i'll be happy though. I believe if fate wants us to be together, we'll still be, as long as our hearts doesn't die..

goodbye! (:

taikib0i

7/10/2011 02:59:00 AM

Sometimes, I just don't understand. I don't understand how she can work against her heart, her feelings. Unless she's lying to me? Otherwise I don't really know why.

She claims she still loves me, she said my answer was correct.. This is what I wrote if I didn't forget.

" Boy, I still love you, continue to hang on for the time being alright? Not now, I got lots of commitments, I got no time for you. But if u hang on, I'll definitely come back to you. Just that it's not now alright? "

If she claims this is correct, why treat me with such cruelty so much so that I feel so painful everyday? I just don't understand. I can see she still cares for me. But why is she ingoring me until the extent that sometimes I even got to BEG her just to meet her for 5 pathetic minutes? Why Why Why?!

Idk wads her relationship with that daniel guy. But there's something I'm sure of, which is they're chatting happily almost every night. She said she's busy with her projects, she watching videos. But why can she chat with him, and not even replying me a single message? Nevertheless, I still trust her. I hope she can draw the line clearly.. So much so that if all these guys are wooing her, they'll just be clear they'll only be friends to her.

But there's definitely something I can't deny, I'm getting tired, tired of all the princess attitudes. I don't mind her being like this, but it's just that.... It's getting too much. Too much so that it hurts so much, that I sob every night, roll lots of tears, for something that's ingoring me, not even a single word of concern. Yes, she have her own set of problems, but why can't she just handle things maturely sometimes? Keeping me hanging in e air, feeling all the pain..

Commitments? school? projects? homework? cca? No time for me? Stress over her own family issues?

Why can't she look things at another way? If I come into her life, can I be part of removing the stress, helping her with her allowances, with her family issues, lightening all the stress and burden she had, showering her with love. Rather than thinking I'm actually nothing but a piece of shit and trouble to her? Why can't she change a little of her thinking?
Humans always tend to think on the bad side, I guess there's nothing I can do.

If it's really my fault from the start, Seriously, u've punished me enough. U've tortured me enough. It's time for you to stop if u still love me, u're hurting me too much. At least give me some peace and happiness, some assurance. That's all I need.

Because, I'm seriously... tired.

taikib0i

Cool, I'm 21yrs old.
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